Why ‘Finding Yourself’ Isn’t Fluff

Every instructor begins by copying, borrowing, exercises, class plans, playlists and even cueing strategies from mentors. But at some point, imitation turns into dissonance. You feel that quiet tug that says, This isn’t me anymore.

Psychologists call this self-concept clarity, the degree to which you have a stable, coherent sense of who you are (Campbell et al., 1996). When self-concept blurs, confidence erodes because every piece of feedback feels personal. Albert Bandura described this as a loss of self-efficacy, the belief that your own actions produce meaningful outcomes (Self-Efficacy: Toward a Unifying Theory of Behavioral Change, 1977).

You can’t fake your way back to confidence.
You rebuild it by identifying the traits that are already authentic, consistent, and empowering, the superpowers you bring to every room, even on an off day.

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everyone will respect you.”
— Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

The Anatomy of a Superpower

A superpower isn’t a personality label. It’s a reliable pattern of behaviour that strengthens both you and your participants.
Instructors with clear superpowers experience what psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi called flow, a state where challenge meets skill, time disappears, and energy feels effortless (Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, 1990).

Ask yourself:

• What do I do in class that makes me lose track of time?
• What feels effortless to me but valuable to others?
• When do participants seem most engaged or responsive?

Those answers reveal your signature strengths, the intersection of ability, authenticity, and impact.

The Science of Seeing Yourself

Why do so many instructors struggle to name their strengths? Because of negativity bias, the brain’s tendency to register criticism more strongly than praise (Baumeister et al., Review of General Psychology, 2001).
Neuroscientific research shows that negative feedback activates the amygdala more intensely, while positive feedback requires sustained attention, about ten seconds, to imprint in memory (Rick Hanson, Hardwiring Happiness, 2013).

So when someone says, “You’re great at explaining things,” your brain says nice and moves on.
But when someone says, “I didn’t like your music,” your brain hits record, replay, rewind.

Over time, you build a mental database of what’s wrong rather than what’s strong.

The antidote?
Collect deliberate evidence of what you do well, long enough for the brain to register it.

How to Find Your SPARK

Use SPARK, a framework that blends psychology, reflection, and practice.

S – Stories that Shaped You

Think of three teaching moments that left a mark, good or bad.
What strengths did you use to navigate them?
Narrative psychologists note that identity develops through story reconstruction (McAdams, 2001). Revisiting your stories helps you see consistent patterns in how you lead and connect.

“We tell ourselves stories in order to live.”
Joan Didion, The White Album (1979)

P – Patterns in Praise

Create a “praise file.” Keep emails, notes, or post-class comments.
After a month, read them as data.
Which words repeat—clear, fun, motivating? Those are behavioural signatures.

A – Alignment with Flow

When have you felt completely in rhythm during a class?
Flow theory shows that when challenge and skill are balanced, focus and satisfaction rise through transient dopamine and norepinephrine release (Dietrich, Consciousness and Cognition, 2004).
Whatever triggered that state is likely a superpower worth cultivating.

R – Reflected Reality

Ask two colleagues and two participants:

“When you picture me teaching, what stands out?”

This produces what Roberts et al. (2005) call a Reflected Best Self portrait, a validated snapshot of how others perceive your strengths.

K – Keep and Name Three

Distil everything into three traits or phrases you could proudly state out loud.
Examples:

• Precise · Playful · Progressive
• Grounded · Technical · Encouraging
• Creative · Challenging · Compassionate

Naming creates ownership. Branding psychology shows that a named trait becomes a mental anchor, something you can recall under pressure (Keller, Strategic Brand Management, 1998).

Turning SPARK into Identity

Now translate your three traits into an elevator pitch, not for marketing, but for mindset alignment.

“My classes are designed for people who love learning movement detail.
I blend technical depth with playful creativity so participants feel both challenged and supported.”

This short declaration becomes your compass.
It reminds you what to protect when opinions swirl.
It shapes your programming, cueing tone, and even how you select music.

The Ripple Effect of Teaching From Strengths

When instructors teach from their superpowers:

• Participants feel safer and more engaged. Authenticity fosters psychological safety and group cohesion (Edmondson, Administrative Science Quarterly, 1999).
• Feedback becomes filtered. You discern whether comments align with your values or merely reflect preference.
• Motivation stabilises. Self-Determination Theory (Deci & Ryan, 1985) shows that autonomy, doing work your way, sustains passion far longer than external approval.

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it.”
Howard Thurman, The Living Wisdom of Howard Thurman (1986)

From Reflection to Practice

Try this three-step ritual before your next class:

1. Name it: Glance at your list of three superpowers.
2. Plan it: Choose one to emphasise today, through cueing, music, or interaction.
3. Notice it: After class, write one line about how that superpower showed up.

Repeated recognition strengthens the neural circuits for confidence and self-trust (Doidge, The Brain That Changes Itself, 2007).

Final Thought: Authenticity Isn’t Static

Confidence isn’t found, it’s trained.
Your three superpowers will evolve as your life does, but the discipline of reflection stays constant.

Teaching from your strengths doesn’t make you rigid; it makes you resilient, rooted enough to bend without breaking.

Because the best instructors aren’t defined by choreography, followers, or playlists.
They’re defined by clarity:

This is who I am, and this is how I help people move.